Recently, someone mentioned that my perspective on life was pretty upbeat especially considering all that I lost in the car accident in 1993. That got me to thinking...I lost plenty, granted, but I gained so much more. I gained an appreciation for how fragile life is. I gained an appreciation for small victories that over time become monumental triumphs. But most importantly, I gained a relationship with God that I never would have known had I not sustained a SCI that "slowed my roll". Yes, I am eternally thankful for my injury in that respect, but...
A friend of one of my children was commenting that he had never known the story behind my wheelchair...What?! How could you NOT know? I thought about that and I realized how I had failed in sharing with him about the grace of God and how that because of Jesus Christ I have life, and not JUST life, but ABUNDANT life and not just abundant life, but life ETERNAL with God! Can I get an AMEN?! Eh hmm...But, he did not know, nor had he ever asked because he was being polite (how sweet!). But, he had never asked my children either. So, that got me to thinking. Looking at my SCI strictly from my perspective, I am grateful. There we go with GRatitude again, but I am grateful. However, when I look at it from my children's perspective, my heart sinks and feels a bit sick.
I know that my children are grateful they have me, but they lost so much March 30, 1993. I can spend many strokes of the keyboard delineating each of their losses, but I'm sure you can figure a few of them out for yourselves. I have to admit that when I look at our accident from their eyes I ache on a guttural level. Yes, grateful that they have me, but maybe not as full of gratitude as I am.
My son said it best. I have a different frame of reference than they. Where I had the luxury of knowing life as an able bodied person, all he and my daughter have is the accident to build their perspectives. Honestly, that fact saddened me. I knew that, but I had never had anyone say that out loud. Now, here he was voicing how he felt about it. It can be compared to life before 9/11/01. We all knew what life was like before 9/11, but our children will never experience the same freedom (granted that you are older than 30 years). I know they are grateful I'm alive to be a part of their lives, but may not have the same level of gratitude.
Perspective is relative. Joy is a choice. The ability to find joy in a battered perspective is only accomplished through the grace.
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